I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific

funny quaotes about smoking

Funny Quotes

funny quote

Funny Quotes
Why is Facebook a best site for loners?

Because it's the only place where they can talk to walls and not be considered a loser
"Facebook has passed 500 million members. If Facebook was a country, it would be the third-largest country and the least productive." - Jimmy Kimmel
Computer hackers managed to shut down Twitter and Facebook for several hours yesterday. American productivity has jumped by 150%." - Conan O'Brien
My advice is to get married: if you find a sweet wife you'll be happy; if not - you'll become a philosopher.
Women marry man hoping that he will change. Man marry women hoping she will not. Each is inevitably disappointed
Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
A married man should forget his mistakes, because there is no sence to remember the same thing for two people
If you need an advice, ask me. If you need a friend, call me. If you need me, come to me. If you need money... I can't be reached!
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - I have friends in both
Love your enemies just in case your friend turns out to be a bastard.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes easier to live with a misery.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes easier to live with a misery.